guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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