OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
