Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
