I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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