why didn't you poke me back
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
