i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize