You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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