Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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