The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
