I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
