He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
