If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
