I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
