Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
