he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
