Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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