We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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