Your tits are I can't wait for
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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