Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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