I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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