Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
