Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
