508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
