Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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