I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
