Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
