Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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