That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Of course I have a pirate flag
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