Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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