So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
