my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Swine flu is the new snow day.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
