So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
