I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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