just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
