one might say we're banned from that church
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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