It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
