Don't you send me to vm
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
