Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
