Screwed.edu
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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