ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
