Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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