How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
