You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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