am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize