I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
