Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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