and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
