You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
