he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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