i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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