I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
