I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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