Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
