i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
