So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
