I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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