you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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