: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
