Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Naked. naked and bneed help.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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