I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
