You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
