if you like me you must not know who I am
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
