how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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