i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
