He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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