It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
