im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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