we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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