My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
