Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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